Never Underestimate Your Dad

I sent the letter.

Within a few hours, I got a response from my dad that humbled me and reduced me to tears.

Good tears.

Dear [Nezu],

I am sorry to write so late, but I am out of town at a meeting, and working from early morning to late night. I can only give a quick answer to your message, with more to follow later, but perhaps not for another week or so.

The short answer is that what you say comes as no great surprise, and I do understand, sympathize with, and certainly accept your decision. It does not change how I feel about you, and only makes me sorry that you were not able to come to terms with this before your unfortunate and, I now realize more than ever, unhappy marriage.

I love you the same as [Male Name] as I did when you were [Female Name]. It is neither the name, nor the sexual identity, that I love; it is the person.

I cannot pretend that I grasp, to any significant degree, the stress you have been living under. I am happy for you that you have found a way to be happier than you have been in the past.

You do not say whether you have talked to Brother and Other Sister about this. I think you should do so rather than my doing so.

May I share your message with Stepmom?

All my love,


I was completely unprepared for the way my heart raced like it was trying to escape the confines of my chest, or the rush of inarticulate tears and laughter that overcame me as I read his letter.

I am shaking with relief, and I realize that I grossly underestimated my father: his open-mindedness, his perceptiveness, and his love for me.

I answered him,

Dear Dad,

I love you so much. Thank you. I am blessed and honored by your response, and so very, very relieved. I’ve just sent similar letters to my siblings and aunt and uncle, and I had conversations in person with my mother’s side of the family when I was in Nashville last month.

Please feel free to share my letter with Stepmom. Perhaps I should have mailed it to her directly, but I have to admit I was apprehensive, and wanted to get your response first.

Thank you so much for your loving response. I really am just speechless with relief, and humbled by your love.

I hope your meetings go well, and your travels smoothly.


There’s a song we sing in church,  a fairly simple chant —

“Don’t be afraid. My love is stronger.
My love is stronger than your fear.
Don’t be afraid. My love is stronger.
And I have promised,
Promised to be always near.”

If there’s a moral to the story of my letter and my father’s response, it is this: Don’t be afraid, you are more loved than you know, and never underestimate your dad.


~ by Nezu on 1 June 2011.

3 Responses to “Never Underestimate Your Dad”

  1. Oh honey. You’re going to make me cry too.

  2. *sniffle*

  3. (Buzzruth – don’t know if I’ve commented here before)

    Sod the sniffles- WOO-DI-FRIGGIN’-HOO! 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: